I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
