I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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