In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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