it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
A bitchslap is in order.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
