I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
