how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
