you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
