Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
