i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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