I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
