i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
