You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
if only i could text you this smell
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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