No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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