i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
