Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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