your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
