There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
