YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
