Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
