I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize