My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize