Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
