I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
