i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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