Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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