I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
