Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
