Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
