he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
