I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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