do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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