Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
