matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
