That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
