and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
