i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
