That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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