we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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