they need to just BURY HIM!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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