I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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