Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
