YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
