awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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