They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
