Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
