I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
