Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
