The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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