All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
