I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Randomize
