im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
