I want to have your abortion
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
