Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
