You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
