is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
