the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
