I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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