Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
