We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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