it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
