you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
