with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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