11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
