i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
