there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
