just tell him i said nine months
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
