Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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