i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize