Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
